Huh?

So one of the exciting and incredibly humbling (to say the least) parts of this journey is becoming aware of  all of the things I don't know and learning about these things. And when I say things I mean traditions, customs, prayers that are core to Catholicism. It is sometimes embarrassing to admit how much I do not know and also for not making more of an effort to learn or even participate earlier in life. By the grace of God, I'm learning now with some help from many friends and teachers. Reminds me of a line from the first reading from Thursday's Liturgy.

1 Corinthians 3:18: Let no one deceive himself. If any one among you considers himself wise in this age, let him become a fool so as to become wise.

For example, I'll share a story about my first book I bought when I began classes at the seminary. We were told to pick up a copy of the Cathecism of the Catholic Church (CCC). We also were given a our first reading assignment. I ordered my book online and went to the store to pick it up. I looked at the first assignment we were to read 1700-1724. So I picked up the book and flipped through the pages, to my dismay there were only 825 pages in the book! I asked the clerk if they had any other copies/editions in stock because I needed the book ASAP and this couldn't be the correct book. They had another book in stock, whew! This one was a soft-cover, but it didn't look too promising. I flipped to the back and held my breath as I hoped to see page 1700...no luck. I went back to the clerk and bought the hardbound book convinced I would look online when I got home and worse-case scenario I would just go to class on Monday and talk to my professor and show him the book as evidence. If anyone is familiar with the CCC you will know that it is divided by paragraphs (2,865 paragraphs, each of which is numbered), so on the syllabus what was listed were the paragraph numbers to be read, not the page numbers! I felt so foolish, but I did have the right book! Oh, and I did figure this out before class on Monday and saved myself the embarrassment. :)

I often find there are many things I don't know like this. I'm learning by sometimes watching people during mass for example, or doing research online or in books and I talk to fellow Catholics to inquire about beliefs and practices or "what to do & why". This is how I learned to pray the rosary, how to return to reconciliation, so many things.

The latest quest I want to learn is how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. How have I never learned these beautiful prayers? The prayer books and ideal behind the prayers reminded me much of the prayer rituals that I observed while teaching at the Orthodox Jewish school. We were just given a book at our last Pastoral Ministry formation meeting and so when I got home I was so excited to begin prayer that evening. I read over the intro, the beginners guide and started to "place" the ribbons where I thought they belonged. Soon they were braided into some kind of knot and I gave up. I had no clue what I was doing. Thank goodness for technology because I do have several apps that has the Liturgy of the Hours so I can still participate in the prayers virtually anywhere, but not in the traditional sense.  I do want to learn how to use the book. A Sister from school has offered to help teach me and my spiritual director. I'm so blessed to have so many friends and people in my life who are willing to take time to help me guide me along this journey...wherever it is leading me! I hope one day I will be able to do the same for others God willing.